Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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