How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
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I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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