explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
