how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
