I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets