I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?