Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

Welcome to every minute of my life.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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(815): View more from Illinois

He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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(810): View more from Michigan

RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.

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(975): View more from Missouri

All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."

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