Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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