if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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