we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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