I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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