I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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