So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
