Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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