this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
