For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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