Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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