i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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