just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
