I wish my penis had an off switch
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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