I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
