nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
