The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
