We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
