We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
