Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
