taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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