Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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