I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
