i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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