'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize