Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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