my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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