i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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