Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
