is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you had me at cake vodka
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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