dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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