Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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