forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if only i could text you this smell
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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