when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
