I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
