in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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