He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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