careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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