My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Text me some of your sweat
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
