We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
NoShamevember. You game?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
