I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize