Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize