Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
