when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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