Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
