I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
