help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
