You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
