we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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