I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
