was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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