I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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