I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
