they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.