You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
