When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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