Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
