Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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