her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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