adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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