Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
