Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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